UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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