Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
