everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
