She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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