He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
