i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Liz is crying about burritos again.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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