Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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