I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
