Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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