I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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