apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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