Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
