I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
