I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
