Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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