So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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