making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
