I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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