I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I look better un-naked...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
