i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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