I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
