wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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