Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
