at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
