weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
