i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
