Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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