Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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