I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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