I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
