6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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