just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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