Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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