And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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