Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
