is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
