why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
