Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
