I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
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I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
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Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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