She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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