He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
