I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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