you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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