If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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