You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
