What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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