I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
