Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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