At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
