she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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