i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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