So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
