Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
