I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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