Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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