Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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