Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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