GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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