Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
